Buzzing

Not having enough work sucks. Always, always sucks! I am obviously bored.

On a floor that seats close to 80 people, I have a corner seat. Behind a pillar that doesn’t let most people see me. In the last five quarters that I have spent here, this is my seventh seat. Yes, we don’t believe in staying put in one place. I don’t mind it. Neither the change, nor the seat. The change keeps things interesting, and the seat gives me privacy and space to be productive. It’s just that sometimes I lose out on conversations, but I don’t entirely mind that either.

I have a view of the building compound, the parking lot, the metro station, and the sunset from this seat. I also have a view of the concrete jungle if I turn around and look behind me.

I changed my hairstyle again. Rakesh saw it and said that the ‘reforms’ that the government has brought in are because of this change. Everybody laughed. We are funny like that. Rakesh’s positivity, intelligence, honesty, and kindness make him a very good boss. The only reason I might stay in this place longer than I plan to would be him.

As of now, I am a perfect case of limited means and endless desires. I want to buy a new lens, plan the next holiday, start identifying properties, and save money. Ideally I should only save because that is all that I can afford to do. I think I should gamble some money! 😀

Even if you are practical and keep things real for yourself, a fool’s paradise can get the better of you.

A recent conversation with Saikat had me conclude that I am thankful that I am not a guy. Because I have no control over my mind and it’s easier to get away with that being a woman. It doesn’t sound good, but it’s true. Think about all the assholes you know, and you will figure that I am right.

I am so utterly bored that I don’t just need some exciting work in office, I also need to shake things up outside of office. Maybe I should learn something new. But the slump in office is temporary and I do not know how to plan things around it. Bleh!

But because I have nothing to look forward to outside of office, I tend to not leave on time in the evenings. Yes, I have become one of those.

Thanks to all the restlessness of the past few weeks, I seem to want two contradictory things at the same time. One, I want to lie on grass in an open space and let the toxins flow out. Two, be surrounded by people I like in a crazy and loud place.

This inertia is killing me. Nothing seems to be moving. On any front! Ugh!