As far as I am concerned, my parents have done all that they can to make me qualify for the most common definition of an independent woman today. Barring a few restrictions on my outings, though! So that independence I take for granted. A natural phenomenon – simply because it was given to me on a platter.
A second concept – social constraints/ peer pressure. “I need to do this because without it I won’t be respected/ accepted/ liked, etc.” Innumerable debates are conducted on it everyday, so I will not go into any of that stuff. But again coming back to myself, I was brought up in such a way that I could handle the common issues of peer pressure. Never felt the need to smoke, to do well in class because others were doing it (personal pressure was enough), look good because other girls did, and so on.
But today, directly or indirectly, I face both these issues – whether or not to make an effort to be independent in a way that I perceive it. And that, because social constraints are one variable in the decisive equation. The society wants to mould me in a way that is probably not natural for me. And the issue is not fighting for my identity or anything on those lines. It is just a choice that I can make. The consequences – a) isolation, which will completely kill the reason for the original decision, or b) being someone I am not.
The first way will be a vicious cycle, whereas the second one will be a series of politically correct things. A scheme of things where I will have a minute degree of happiness because I will fit very well in the modern world. As an independent woman! But will my decisions remain independent if I fall for all this social drama?
I am getting sucked into this labyrinth of thoughts and words, and I am realising that each word that I am typing is shooting off a new series of thoughts. Also, I don’t know why I am writing in such a complicated language.
Ok, let’s try to simplify it.
# I be myself, make an independent decision, and not be accepted.
# I act taking in account the social constraints, so in a way my decision is not completely independent, but I end up being the independent woman. And also alone.
Oh, so either way I will be alone. Interesting!
If I take the first route, I know the end result for sure, so I can be carefree and really do what I like.
If I take the second route, I expect and expect and expect, hope for the best, and then realise that all of it really started off on wrong assumptions (:D missing some economics, I guess).
OK, after ALL this talk, this post is ending on a crappy note. As if this was all non-sense and as if there’s nothing to life except one result. But believe me, I have some very sound logic behind these thoughts. Just can’t go into it because I like to believe that I have graduated from a mad newbie blogger of summer ’05 to this mad hopefully more mature one in the pseudo summer of ’08.
Truly hoping later years are not as depressing as this post.
A confession: I enjoyed writing so much after a long time today. Helped me sort some things in my mind. And things clarified themselves during the process of writing. After really long did I just write without knowing what my next set of words are going to be. I love a clean white sheet of paper! Or in this case, clean white new space to type.
Fuchsia 