Elusive

It was an odd day. I woke up with the same thoughts that I had gone to sleep with last night. I kept thinking about it. And then I lost the battle. It was not a nice feeling. I know losing universally makes people feel bad. And I have lost similar battles earlier as well. But I had got used to the control over the past few months. It’s easy to get used to good things.

This afternoon saw heavy rain and thunderstorm. My anxiety rose. I think I almost cried. But there was a meeting to attend. Wait, while we’re at it, and since this is my territory, I need someone to stop these rains. Or I will scream!

I got busy and distracted until I received that email. I was not expecting it. I was not ready for any of this. I know it isn’t even a big deal and my mind is overplaying it. But I cannot handle this kind of uneasiness anymore. Maybe I have myself to blame. Already. Or maybe I could blame the circumstances. I do want to put the blame somewhere and erase it all off my mind. It is not worth any more discussions. It is not to be. 

I want my peace back. I was not up for trading that.