Einer Reise Nach Berlin

Schwarzfahren. German for riding without a ticket. How did I learn this word? My host in Berlin confidently recommended going ‘schwarzfahren’ on my first evening in the city (not validating the day pass I’d just bought) because its tube network does not have any turnstiles and apparently tickets are rarely checked – especially after peak hours. And so I thrillingly ‘rode black’ two stations for one of the cheapest good meals I’ve had ever since I left India. We paid some five odd euros for two large slices of pizza. That’s almost £3.5! I get nothing better than a cold Tesco sandwich for that kind of money. Certainly not a fresh, warm, oozing-with-cheese pizza. That day I realised that London is actually quite expensive. But then so is the UAE because prices are fairly comparable between the two. Or maybe it’s just Berlin which is amazingly affordable. I am told the rent there is also quite incredibly low.

U-bahn, the underground

I always knew that Germany is not one of the English-friendly countries but I never imagined things could be unsettlingly difficult to decode. The first taxi ride in the city – from the airport – lasted about 20 minutes and I did not spot even five words of English anywhere. The driver didn’t speak any English either and within the first 30 seconds we were down to good ol’ hand gesturing  to communicate. 

English! 😀

Google was obviously the biggest help for navigating routes but it failed me, dramatically enough, when it stopped at giving S-bahn numbers without telling me which platforms to find my trains at. It doesn’t sound like a big deal – how many platforms would a standard local city station have, you’d ask. I happened to be at Hauptbahnhof, one of the biggest stations I’ve ever seen, the first time that I got lost. It has U-bahn (underground), S-bahn (street level), intercity and inter-country trains running every second. It also has the best veggie McDonald’s burger outside of India but I’ll come back to that later. When I had that burger I was somewhere between trying to miraculously decode German signage and giving up any hope of getting to my destination. The station literally had nothing in English except details of the train that went to the airport (thoughtful). The only other familiar word was Budapest – I spotted it on a train that I definitely didn’t want to take. After about 25-30 minutes of going up and down three levels I finally figured that the only way to get anywhere in the city is to ask a real person. Most of them know ‘a little bit’ of English. It’s usually enough to combine with what Google says about finding something. 

Hauptbahnhof – at the platform it took me forever to find

During one of the walks when I was lost

The other highlight of this language barrier was my interaction with a nurse at a hospital that I was visiting. T had been away for his surgery a little too long. So I went to enquire at the nurses’ station on his side of the floor. Again, little to no English. 

“Urologi?”

“Erm…kidney…kidney procedure”

“Urologi? Friend? Urologi?” (this time with hands gesturing all over the organ system)

Clearly this wasn’t working. We moved straight to finding his name in the system. And after about 5-7 minutes of exchanging confused looks and words incomprehensible for the other, she told me he was still away for his operation. Not the most helpful outcome, but the lady was way more patient and polite than I expected. By Indian AND by London standards.

When I wasn’t at the hospital I was busy checking off tourist-y spots in the city. I think I managed to cover a fair deal even though the afternoon heat was quite draining. The Berlin Wall Memorial was like ghar ki murgi because it was next door to where I was staying. I passed by it every time I stepped out so didn’t care much to spend time there. The East Side Gallery (that’s where I wanted to go from Hauptbahnhof) blew my mind! From a distance it looked like a regular wall with some graffiti. But every mural on this long wall spoke volumes about the skill and thought that must have gone into it. I obviously went crazy with my camera. The river, Spree that passes along the wall was a nice addition to the otherwise ordinary area. T had told me I wouldn’t spend more than 30-45 minutes there, but I ended up being there for nearly two hours and left only because it got a little late in the night. In any case finding the right public transport seemed to take longer than the actual rides.

The next day I started with a walk around Gendarmenmarkt, Franz Friedrichstadtkirche and Konzerthaus Berlin. It’s basically a neoclassical square in central Berlin with a royal (can I use that term to reference things outside the UK?) concert hall along with French and German cathedrals on either side. The historic structures were bombed during World War II but they were rebuilt and stand tall today in all their imposing glory. 

Gendarmenmarkt Square – The first time that I used the panorama feature on my phone

I also visited what is known to be one of Berlin’s best chocolatiers, Fassbender & Rausch. The store was admittedly mind-boggling. Everything was made of chocolate – from huge landmark buildings to the city’s mascot to a million different flavours of truffles and pralines and chocolate bars – it was crazy! It felt like a got a sugar rush just by looking at all the chocolate. I got a pack of 12 different chocolates for home but I have to say they were nothing better than ordinary. Each flavour, each chocolate let me down. Gah.

THIS IS CHOCOLATE! :O

And this too!

After a long pit stop for food, drinks and hope for the sun to take it easy, I started towards the Brandenburg Gate and the German parliament building, Reichstag. The Reichstag was impressive. Well, I do have a weakness for perfectly symmetrical buildings and this one didn’t fail to amaze either.

Saw that chocolate figure on top? Here’s the real one in selfie mode. Perils of travelling alone.

When Fanta was a different orange!

The other thing that was extremely fascinating was the Ampelmann. Initially I thought it was just me spotting the cuteness in the city’s pedestrian stop lights. But soon I figured that it has a long history from before the integration of East and West Germany. They have dedicated Ampelmann stores with all kinds of merchandise that you can imagine. I didn’t particularly like anything to buy at that point, but in retrospect, I want an Ampelmann souvenir. Just look at it! How often do you see any character in such mundane things?

I didn’t spend much time in Berlin but I definitely think the city has a lot of character. It’s not one of those cities that I can imagine falling instantly in love with; everything about it grew on me gradually. The streets, the people, the music, the history – all very subtle, but charming nonetheless. I am sure it’s a completely different experience for someone who knows the language, but for a couple of days one can make do with getting lost and exploring Berlin at leisure.

Oh, and the city has a mascot which reflects nothing of its history or culture. Or maybe it does. The Berlin Bear is all over the city in various forms and colours. Here’s one in all its chocolatey glory!

PS: Berlin’s city airport, Tegel is so small and so well located that I can never imagine anyone missing a flight from there. Hurry up and experience it before they close it down for the new one that’s on its way.