When blacking out and falling to the ground, I was judging myself for being dramatic.
When being hysterical after an emotional setback, I was still judging myself for being dramatic.
When being informed of my husband’s father passing away, I was judging myself for being dramatic and crying.
While I see him trying to bounce back and immersing himself in work, I sit here and judge myself for struggling to concentrate on my own work.
The thing is, I know being judgmental is not good. I work very hard on not judging people because it’s impossible to be familiar with all their circumstances and feelings. Sure, I judge people for wearing a striped shirt with striped trousers, but for the most part I try and be sensitive.
I have always believed that I am very self-aware. That obviously can’t be true all the time, but it is reasonable to say I usually know where my head is at. That has some obvious downsides. Like why the eff do I need to judge myself right now? Ha, I am judging myself for judging myself. It’s hilarious and a tiny bit pathetic. No ironies are lost on me at this time. It’s just a really bizarre time.
2 thoughts on “Awareness”
I think sometimes the hardest thing is to be kind to yourself. It’s so easy to say, that you need to let yourself be, but we’re like that horrible judgemental person who is always rolling their eyes or shaking that head at ourselves.