Anxiously

Friday evening was scary. I thought I was experiencing a stroke. I proactively suggested to C that we needed to go to the Accidents and Emergencies centre. Again. Typically I try to talk us both out of making that hideous trip to the hospital but this time was different. My legs and arms had collapsed, while my jaws and throat felt painfully constricted. Before that I took position to vomit, but that was a false alarm.

It was also a false stroke alarm. The doctors checked me and sent me home. They said the symptoms might be due to stress and anxiety. I was relieved and not surprised, but it made me reflect on all the times when I have had unexplained physical symptoms and I wondered if those pains had all been stress-related. That said, I know that my stress levels have never been higher than they are now. So much for having some life experience and ‘knowing’ that setbacks are one part of the big picture!

I am yet to figure how to get things under control. I am driven by actions, so I am doing what I can to address the things that are causing me trouble. But I am at a total loss for managing that troubled mind in the meanwhile.