And an even longer period of non-stop thinking and bad moods. I don’t know why I do it to myself but I seem to have no control. Certain things just got stuck back in my closet and I’m not being able to throw them out. I’m hoping that all the growing up will eventually teach me how to take better care of myself too.
So many people, so many names, so many faces….I won’t say I want to forget them because I don’t, but I want to get away from them all! They haven’t given me as much pain as I’ve myself derived from them and I think I’m done with doing that. The only problem is that I realized this long back, I was just unable to find a mechanism to handle it. There is so much that has stacked up inside me that now I’m even unsure how many more sessions of ‘venting out’ it will take to get things back to normal.
There has not been a day when I have not thought about things – good, bad or ugly. Today I almost feel that I’m living only in my past. And here my present is looking at me with its own set of expectations. From now on, I intend to give my present what it needs and what it wants. I know it is going to be hard – it has been so far – but I guess I need to go that extra mile for myself this time. I need my own attention.