Conflict & Paradox

What do you do when someone is not quite behaving ‘right’ with you, and it affects you?
You may decide to put a stop to it by trying to not take whatever is being thrown at you.
But what if in the process you don’t just stop taking it, but actually end up giving it back to the person concerned?
The difference being that the person is doing it unknowingly, and you are fully conscious about what you’re doing.
Is it right then? Would it still be ‘protecting yourself’? And anyway if you’re aware of it and it is raising doubts in your mind… how is it protection? It’s just causing further unrest. Isn’t it? You’re hurting the person back.

Isn’t it bad karma?

But what happens if you feel sorry about it, and decide to apologise for it? Will it take things back to square one? Will you be the one at the receiving end of muted hurt?
Is letting this happen bad karma too?

Whatever happened to the line between me and the self? How do you maintain it without feeling bad about things?

Is putting self interest above all else really the only way to go? Even if it means compromising on loved ones’ interest?
How do you balance the two? If two people love each other a lot, there must be way to ensure that neither tramples over the other one’s emotions. No?

Added later:
Yes, self interest is most important. Because I need acknowledgment for things I do. I mostly do not get it. And none of you are my offspring that I’d not mind it.