I thought my blog needed an update. I also thought that I want to write. And so I am here.
But there’s a part of me that does not want to write here anymore. And I don’t like the fact that it is happening. Blogging is, somehow, not what it used to be. And I hate to see it the way it is today. Don’t ask me what I’m getting at, ‘coz it’s hard for even me to explain.
But I don’t want to let go of this. As with most other things that are, or have been dear to me! I’d rather alter a few things in my thinking.
The recent past has been quite fairy-tale like. I am in a world which seemed to belong to only books and movies. A world which was nothing more than some beautifully interwoven words by people known as writers. It still seems like a dream, and I know pinching myself won’t be of much help. ‘Surreal’ is really the only word that comes closest to describing my world as it is right now. I had long stopped believing that reality could be like this. But I just realized that reality need not be only the bad stuff. Good things are just as real. It’s a different matter that they become very hard to digest as reality at times.
I am also being made to realize that I have done a fairly decent job of ‘making friends’. People who are friends in the true sense of the word. So what if I was talked badly of, so what if some people whom I considered friends did not really reciprocate equally in the relationships? What I have today, is perfect. I never thought people other than my immediate family could be so happy for me. At times, it is said that it is easier to be part of others’ happiness, but I don’t think so. How would someone’s happiness make any difference to you if that person was just another somebody for you?
I am truly happy today. My ‘people-world’ is stable. And the stability is brought by the person who is in its centre – yes, it’s Shady.
Shady says this about me, but it holds true in my case too – his voice is magical. When he laughs, I do not want him to stop. When he looks at me, I want his eyes to never look away. When he unknowingly tries to undo the hurt that I’ve tried to bury inside me, I wonder whether he is real. When I talk to him, I know he is listening. His words are a musical chain to my ears. The romance that he has brought into my life is completely beyond my own belief. The trust that he adds to the relationship each day, is very precious to me. The way we fight our insecurities, is something that only he understands. The love that I get is something that I have never got before. And the love that I get to give is also something that I could never do before.
Yes, it’s love again, only this time it’s real.